I Saw a Divorced Man Cry

by Teresa D. Ritter

I saw a divorced man cry.
Actually he was trying not to cry.
I then saw a gay man and others hug him.
The gay man gave the best hug.
It seemed longer than the others
Like more hug than one really needs.
The hug contained a multi-bulleted message:
- It is OK to feel sad when you are a divorced person.
- I am a liberal-compassionate type of person. I make a point of exaggerating my compassion because it is the personality trait I am most proud of. I give long hugs to affirm myself.
- Out of all those who hug you, I am the most dependable in an emotional crisis.
- There are more of these hugs for you in the future. Just ask.

The divorced man was very emotionally healthy I think because he was willing to tell people he was sad.
I am afraid to do this because I unfortunately believe two things:
1) People will avoid you if you do not project a sheen of vitality and joie de vivre at all times.
2) If I am feeling unhappy all I need is the power of positive thinking. I bravely tell myself that sadness is a temporary blip neatly remedied by a short mantra of “How lucky I am to be alive. Let me go discover what the world has to offer me today.”
Much effort can go into contorting one’s face to appear vital and positive.
I have a new theory that becoming a more garrulous person will be easier on my face muscles than fake smiles.

I will try to learn something from the divorced man.
I am not sure how to do this.
I can start small.
Maybe I will try not to smile at any strangers at the grocery store.
Let my inner landscape hang out.
I don’t know.
Maybe I need to put more effort into positive thinking.
Be more disciplined with it.
Maybe I should get a book on Buddhist meditation.